Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Parental Warnings

Don't fall out of that tree--you'll break your neck!

Don't cross your eyes--they'll stay like that!

Don't play your music so loud--you'll go deaf!

Don't eat all that candy--your teeth will fall out!

Don't bite your nails--you'll get sick!

Don't go near the lawn mower--it'll cut your toes off!

Don't stick your tongue out--a bird will poop on it!

Don't pet that strange dog--it'll bite your hand off!

Don't run with that stick--you'll put your eye out!

Don't fall off your bike--you'll crack your head open!

Don't play with those scissors--you'll cut your finger off!

Don't hang your arm out the car window--it'll get cut off!

It's amazing I grew to adulthood with all my parts intact.


  1. I used to LOVE sticking my feet and hands out the window. Then mom told me that it might get cut off and I was horrified.

    From then on I was paranoid that as truckers drove by they would pull out their machetes and hack off my limbs. Quite frightening to a child!

    However, slowly but surely, my fingers and toes slowly crept out the window once more. I figure it's just pure blessing that I was able to escape the psychopaths driving down our roads.

  2. Seriously. Once, when I was a kid, I saw a guy with one arm. His shirt was pinned closed where the arm should have been. I thought, "He must have put his arm out the window..."

    I used to ride along in the backseat (with no seatbelt, of course) and look for random arms on people's windshields. I mean, it must have been COMMON, right? How come I never saw that?

  3. I regularly use these with Shane especially the bird pooping on the tongue, ha! Since we have air in AZ and I have the ability to lock his window, I do so if he puts any limb out it!

  4. Some others I have used:
    Don't pee in the sandbox--I'll have to spank you. (hopefully, only applicable because I have boys...)

    Don't stick your finger in your eye--it'll hurt.

    Don't talk back--answer me!!

    DON'T YELL!!!

    Come here--go finish that.

  5. I was watching "John & Kate plus Eight" today (even though I hate that show because it makes me anxious), and Kate said "Don't eat the paint! Because if you do, you'll get sick and DIE."

    Made me think of this.