Sunday, January 23, 2011

Wisdom Through the Decades/50 Years in Review

Decade 1:
-You can't tie your tooth to a doorknob with string and expect it to pop out.
-Baby robins make lousy pets.
-Gum is really hard to get out of hair.
-Not all dogs are Lassie.
-What goes up must come down only faster.
-Sleep is a waste of time.
-Spinning in circles is fun.
-There might be monsters in the closet.
-A friend is anyone you're playing with.
-It takes forever for Christmas or your birthday to come.
-Grownups know everything.
-You have lots of questions.

Decade 2:
-It's a bad idea to wait until the night before your lesson to practice.
-If your friend jumps off a bridge, you should back up.
-Everyone is watching you. Some are making fun.
-Love does hurt.
-You enjoy slouching and chewing your nails.
-Sleep is a waste of time--except on weekends.
-Spinning in circles is still fun.
-Real Bad Guys are way scarier than closet monsters.
-Don't tell your bff secrets you don't want the whole world to know.
-You are invincible.
-Adults don't know much.
-You know the answers.

Decade 3:
-You can set a child on a potty but you can't make him go.
-People are too busy with their own lives to evaluate you.
-Gum is really hard to get out of hair.
-A chicken doesn't get done if you cook it upside down.
-Watched pots won't boil, but when you look the other way, they run over.
-Napping is a luxury, especially with a toddler.
-Spinning makes you feel sick.
-Church is twice as long when it's your turn in the nursery.
-True friends can be any age and the more the merrier.
-One red sock turns everyone's underwear pink.
-Your children think you know everything.
-You start to question your own answers.

Decade 4:
-The lines around your eyes and mouth are laugh lines.
-Clothing sizes are running smaller so you buy bigger sizes.
-75% of your day is spending finding food and cooking it in mass quantities.
-You pay attention to storm warnings and plan accordingly.
-You wear sunscreen and seatbelts religiously.
-You look forward to going to bed early as much as a night out.
-Watching others spin makes you feel sick.
-Your skin absorbs lotion like the Mojave Desert.
-A few close friends are better than a multitude of peripheral friends.
-You take calcium and load up on fiber.
-Your teenagers think you don't know anything.
-You figure out a few answers only to have more questions.

Decade 5:
-The lines around your eyes and mouth are wrinkles.
-You can't tell if those are gray hairs without your bifocals.
-You don't need cookbooks anymore--the recipes are all in your head.
-Teachers and doctors are all adolescents.
-You grow hair where no hair has ever grown before.
-Hair that you want is less plentiful and durable.
-Sometimes you feel dizzy even if no one around you is spinning.
-You need to stretch before you walk to the mailbox.
-Your best friends are related to you.
-Christmas and your birthday come more often than usual.
-Your grandchildren think you know everything.
-You admit you have a lot to learn.